Sleeping babies, church and the beginning of an idea

So this morning i am missing church.  Tabytha is sleeping.  Last night she was not so happy for an almost 4 hour period that finally ended with her going to sleep at 11:30.  I am loathe to wake her after that incident.  Plus I know that she has to be very sleepy.  This morning i put a robe on her right after the bath, so i would need to dress her before walking next door.  I hope this is just not an excuse.  But she is only 8 weeks old today.  wow that seems so long ago.  When she is not cranky and inconsolable i really enjoy my baby girl.  I doubt many parents go yippee at the sight or sound of their child in fuss mode.  

Yesterday was a pretty good day.  Some friends came to visit.  It was very nice to see them.  The trip also gave me a glimmer of an idea of what to do next.  I am not going into a lot of detail here today, but at least i have something to look into now.  Just something at an idea maybe level feels good.  The search also put another thought into my mind.  I saw a school that offers a bs in holistic nutrition, maybe it was holistic health.  That might be a good idea for me in itself.  But that is not the idea i am looking into at this point.  That night be more of a nice add-on.  First my idea will take some real world, girlfriend and sister advice/input.  That and some $ for what might be upto 12k for school.  But eh really what is a little more debt.  Funny how that car which i avoided getting now has me going eh what is a little deeper of hole?  I guess school is a better thing to go into debt for then jeans, jewels or cars.  

Funny this is the first post in awhile where i am looking at what to do next.  Funny because that is the point of the blog, at least that is what i said when i started it.  Maybe one just needs to clean and clear out the old to focus on the new.  Maybe it is just about the journey of my life.  Today the sun is shinning and i plan on reveling in that while i can.

The end of summer

Yesterday i was looking at my uber talented friend's Heather's flickr stream and she has posted some shots of dying corn that she labeled the summer's end and seeing them made me a little sad.  It is sort of funny because my next thought was that it barely felt like we had a summer at all.  But it did really get me thinking and i wanted to post some random thoughts on summer and ends.  Yes I know technically summer does not end for another month and labor day is 2 weeks away, but next week the kids start school and well let's face it that is the end of summer. 

Are endings always sad?  I think in a way they generally are.   The Sunday night I went into the hospital to have the baby I did feel a tinge of sadness along with the nerves.  I was nervous because somehow deep inside i knew that if I walked into maternity he was going in to take the baby.  But I was also a little sad because I knew that was the end of the pregnancy.  Even though it felt like the pregnancy from hell, i was sad to see it end.  And not just because I did not get my bellycast done.  That may well prove to be the last time I felt a child move inside me(odd to miss that after the way Tabytha battered me).  The night before may prove to be the last time i looked on my full ripe pregnancy created curves.  I did not feel that happy about my pregnancy tummy when trying to chop vegetables, but that is another thought stream.  I wonder how much of the post baby blues is linked to a sadness over the end of something.  

Every ending brings a new beginning.  I do love the new beginning of getting to know my precious long awaited baby girl.  I really wish she could give one night with a nice 6 hour block though.  Come on baby once a week just to help your momma out.  But eh sleep i can do that later.  I might never again hold a cooing infant.  A screaming one does not generate the same ahhh feeling somehow.   Each milestone seems like a delight and a loss at the same time.  To borrow a phrase from the equally talented Derrika the halycon days of childhood are fleeting.  Is it that knowledge that motivates women to go through it all again?

Summer, summer is it even a summer at all with no trips to the beach?  That will hopefully be corrected Friday and Tuesday.  Even as i think fondly of summer and sadly of it ending, I also focus on the delights of the fall to come.  Wow my daughter starts high school this year.  In 4 years, God willing, I will be packing her up and settling her into college.  That year I will send one child off into adulthood with the start of college and the other one will be just starting her school journey in pre-school.  wow in black and white that seems so overwhelming.  wow.  

For the next 6 days at i plan on enjoying the last fleeting moments of summer and the freedom it brings.   

First Post

Ok so here goes.  This idea has floated in the brain for a bit and now it is time to try it.  It feels weird now that I started.  The ideas floated in my head so much easier when it was just an idea.  Another Tuesday with no doctor visits.  This was week 5 without them, and i think the day felt empty in part because it still seems weird not to be going to a doc visit on a Tuesday.  After 6 months of every month, then every week with a nst from 30 weeks on, it still feels like Tuesday should have some sort of a doctor/hospital visit.   That does not even include the visits to Annapolis with the perinatologist.    

Next week will have 2, one for Tabytha to get a final look at the hip and an omt for me.  I get the 6 week check with the ob on Monday.  The Monday appointment seems like a final sign that the pregnancy is indeed done.  Looking forward to the next 6 months with baby.  I have waited so long to do this, so why do I feel so lost?  Is that normal?