Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Living in the Land of Can't

Living in the Land of can't is no fun at all.  It feels like I have ben stuck there since Spring.  Thanks to pregnancy in general and a nice little complication in general it felt like the pregnancy was all about living in the land of can't.  

The food limitations were not so bad.  I can give up Sushi and brie cheese for a few short months--of course I forgot no sushi until after breastfeeding was done.   Feta and goat cheese were easier to skip until you go to a restaurant and try to order a salad beyond a basic tossed.  Add blue cheese and at least where I live just request no cheese.  But really not that bad.  After all it is only a season.  

The physical limits are and were much worse.  No lifting, no pilates, no being a wife, no a whole lot else.  Monday a lot of those go away and boy am I ready.  But today I had a bit of a revelation while trying to stretch and listening to Joyce Meyer.  As someone who is normally quite limber fighting through just to touch my toes was no fun-but that is not so much the point.  I realized that I was the person locking myself in the land of can't.  Not my doctor or the pregnancy, but me.  There is so much I can do, but i ignore of neglect those and focus on what I can not do.  So today I have a choice to keep whining or to be grateful for what I can do.  

One of those things is hold my new baby.  My baby who was delivered at term, who left the hospital the day I did.  Not something I thought would happen when I lost my mind and had some pre-term contractions at 28 weeks, even my doctors were unsure I would make it to term.  To have done so with no bleeding was even more remarkable.  I know many people that would give anything just to get pregnant.   A baby that appears to be perfectly healthy.  A year ago I felt the same thing myself.   I remember seeing a friend who just had a baby and while being so happy for her, being at the same time sad and a little envious.  

So for today at least I am going to focus on my can dos.  That is my plan/goal at least.

1 comment:

  1. What a blessing . . . and it does help to write it all out.

    I have recently had to take a look at the way I view things . . . it is not easy to change that. What a blessing that the Lord has allowed you to take a look at the "can do's".

    Every day is a new step . . .